Tako Rants about Fanfiction - Harry Potter edition part 1

So... I didn't disappear into the ether again, which is nice... I guess.

As the fucking tittle suggest, today dear bubbelas, we're going to dip our taints into the murky and sometimes disgusting waters of fanfiction, specifically the particular cesspool that is Harry Potter fanfiction.

Now, don't get me wrong, it is a cesspool I often enjoy swimming in, but there are some days, when it just become too fucking insane, even for me.

You might perhaps ask yourself, why would a seemingly well adjusted grown ass man be reading fanfiction instead of, I don't know, eating ass and living his best life? And I could actually answer right here, but it just ocurred to me that its actually a good topic for another blog post. So, stay tuned for that.

Before we start I'd like to clarify that I deeply admire every writer that actually has the creativity and dedication to upload a full 240k word fanfic, its just that sometimes I can't help but ask

Like what the actual fucking fuck?? who shoved  fistfull of ayahuasca up their distended asshole and decided that Snarry was not only okay, but a desired pairing?

What is Snarry you innocent summer child might ask? It is the unholy relationship of Severus Snape and Harry Potter, in a romantic or sexual manner.

If we take a look around the AO3 fics, there are a total of 198.683 Harry Potter fanfics, of which, 10.287 are actually Snarry fics, which might not look like much, and actually represents only like 5% of it, but it just fucks me up, because I genuinely can't understand why would you pair Harry Bitchface McPotter with a guy that:

•  Is aproximately 20 years his senior.

•  Was repeatedly depicted  harrasing, bullying and demeaning not only Harry, but all of his non Slytherin students.

• Was in "love" with Harry's mother.

I mean, am I the only one (no, I know I'm not) that sees this as a deeply unhealthy and downright toxic pairing?
In most Snarry fics Snape's behavior is often downplayed or explained with a bullshit excuse in-fic, but still. It does not spark joy.

Also, can we fucking talk about how only some of these Snarry fics involve an adult Harry?

Thats fucking right you cuntmunchers, a great deal of these Snarry fics involve an aproximately 36 years old Snape and a 16 years old Harry, at best.

 Like for real? you nongendered bitch??, you come into my house, with a fic about Snape's 16 inches long dick destroying Harry's asshole in the name of burning passion and the sexual tension between a fucking adult and a teenager and NOT address just how downright pedophilic it is?  And then just handwave it away with, "its the power of lurve uwu" or God fucking forbid "They are mAtEs"?

I undertand that the suspension of disbelief is a requirement to read any kind of story, and that sometimes authors need to write fucked up shit as a venting mechanism, its just that this gives me a gross feeling, thats all.

Now, I had planned to write just a cute little post about this, and move onto other fandoms or maybe doing some recomendations. But it turns out I had plenty of fucking feelings about motherfucking Snarry, and didn't even touch the Harry/Voldemort pairing, the creature/mates/dom-sub fics, the character bashing, and the Good!darkside Bad!lightside fics.

So

This will be the first of another series of posts I guess.

Hopefully I won't pop a blood vessel and die writing this, or just lose interest for another 5 fucking  years.