lunes, 16 de abril de 2018

Its 2018, Are Blogs even Cool anymore? Do we still say Cool?

So, here I am, again, after a fucking millenia away, without an actual reason to my absence besides that I got entertained and sidetracked with other stuff FOR  5 FUCKING YEARS?? WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK SIS?. 


At the same time, I'm not gonna excuse myself or promise not to do it again, because I am what? sickening Irrelevant.

anyone got that reference? 

Seriously tho, who the fuck reads this anyway? besides the shitton of russian traffic I get for reasons unknown, I'm my only reader... AND THATS FUCKING FINE

At least thats what I try to tell myself, but


So I guess I'll just use this blog as a sort of venting plataform or some shit... Maybe post some knitting again, talk shit about fanfiction and that kind of crap.

When I first started this blog, it was (I guess) under the inspiration of actual succesful people like the Bloggess, or the Yarn Harlot, writers with a huge fanbase, and people that, you know, actually care about what they have to say. Back then, little old me was all like "FUCK YES, I WANT THAT SHIT", I wanted to be read (even though I have nothing interesting to say) and feel validated I guess? Thats something everyone wants to some degree I guess... Anyfuckingway, I was all ready to dazzle everyone with my wit and my masterfull use of the written word, and be fucking loved and extolled in return. But... It never happened, mostly because I barely posted anything thats the only reason you fucking dumbass, But I guess I got discouraged and dissapointed on myself, and just directed my attention elsewhere.

Now, I'm gonna try to dance (write) only for myself, like that time Madonna became a Camel dancer 

No, this is not a Peter Griffin-esque fucked up anecdote, this really happened

 I'm gonna try to write about the things I want to read and see, and maybe someone will read it and enjoy it, or maybe nobody will, and thats OKAY, fuck outside validation and shit, I'll be my own strong independent woman of color mother of three who don't need no fucking validation...

viernes, 22 de febrero de 2013

An ode to Black Yarn

A while ago, a cousin asked for a phone cozy, he's cool and this would be the first knitted thing he asks, so I said "sure, which colors do you want?", then he said the most awful words someone can say to a knitter IMO: "just one, black", the moment those words left my cousin's mouth I felt the urge to gulp down a hole bottle of vodka, to grow claws and maim him, and running all the way to Peru, all at the same time...

Have you ever, dear reader who possibly is also a knitter/crocheter, worked with black yarn? If you haven't please allow me to explain you the outwordly and invigorating experience that working with black yarn is: its like having mud smeared all over your face, just that instead of being in your face, the mud is all over your stitches... Seriously, you only have a vague sense of what you're doing, and no matter what stitch pattern you use, the thing will still look like an amorphous blob of doom...

see?? Fucking. Blob. of  DOOM

Now, don't get me wrong, I don't dislike the color -most of my shirts are either black or really dark- or the finished projects -they actually look pretty classy and cool-  but damm it, its so frustrating and depressing to work with it  ;.;

As you can see, the finished object looks pretty nice, but still, working with dark yarn is annoying as fuck ¬¬

Also, after casting off the phone cozy I started another project, a complete opposite , color-wise

Sneak Peek!!

sábado, 12 de enero de 2013

2013 Knitting Resolutions

Yo! In an amazing display of responsibility that shocks  even me, I decided to post my list of knitting resolutions... I won't do resolutions like "I want to knit 600000 yards this year" or "I'm gonna knit ALL the swaters in The Celtic Collection" , mostly because they always lead to dissapointment and depression... Intead, what I want to do for the 2013 is try new techniques, tackle patterns that have been taunting me for ages...
So, during this year I want to:
- Learn to do double knitting
- Get better at doing stranded colorwork
-Actually understand how the fuck do you do entrelac
-Try a fancy pansy, one hundred charts and 4 diferent edgings to choose lace shawl, preferably a circular one, since it'll probably end up as a table runner... Also, the key word here is TRY, if I found the little bastard to be too much of a problem I'll frog it...
-I want to crochet a garment, or a hat...
-A blanket... For some sick and unexplainable reason I want to try either crocheting or knitting a blanket... I might actually do a bicraftual project and make a bunch of afghan blocks...
- This one is not really a resolution but a "if I have time" kind of thing: I want to knit a cardigan for myself, with a hood, and probably cables, or colorwork... I still don't know, but I want to make myself a fucking cardigan so awesome that people die of sheer envy when the see it...

Now, just like I mentioned above, I'd like to tackle a few patterns that have been teasing me for a while and I've been too much of a chicken to try them... This pattern tackling, wich I hope I manage to do, its gonna be called "Bitch, you goin down!", and will be accompanied by this little pseudobadge

I couldn't bring myself to purposely make a spelling mistake
Now, a list with some of the bitches that hopefully will be going down:

-Enpaper Hat
-Bicolor Spiral Hat - This might be the first bitch going down, since I have a yarn that will do the trick
- Pax - This might actually take a while, I've read the pattern and duuuuude I don't undertand shit >.<
-Selbu Modern
-Coachella - I have plans to knit at least 3 of these for several family members...
- Either Pamina, Maeva or Window Pane Socks, just to see how long until I lose my mind
- This thing, just because it looks fucking awesome
-And Finally, a Clapotis, because why the fuck not?

Please note, this is not a definitive list, I just included the ones I find "doable" during this year

Now, If you guys excuse me I have a bag's ass to kick... More to come in this issue, I promise!

viernes, 4 de enero de 2013

A year of projects - 2012 in a Nutshell

So, 2012 its over,  and taking into account that I haven't posted as much as I'd like to, I thought It would be nice to make a post summing up everything I did during 2012... that way I can stop feeling guilty over the bunch of crap I haven't blogged about, and start fresh (blogwise) this new year...

During 2012 I...

-Joined the Nerd Wars game, and met a bunch of cool and loving people. I'm a proud member of team Shady Cels, dedicated to everything animated (comics, cartoons, anime, manga, claymation etc).

-Crafted a bunch of toys, a few of them (like beekat) weird as fuck

that little lion was also my first time using fun  fur... 

- I did my first try on pinneaple crochet... Its pretty cool, but the pattern I chose had an increasing number of picots every round, it wasn't pleasant...

-I had de chance to work with self striping yarn, and I loved it (also, the fucking socks match!!!), sadly the yarn was discontinued...

- I knitted my first dishcloth, that soon was followed by a bunch more...

- HATS!! I made a bunch of them...

these are just a few, I couldn't find more pics... Also, the red hat in the middle is evil, I almost died while working on it

-I frogged one of my biggest projects, in wich I had been working since  2011, because I realised I wasn't doing the YO's properly... Someday I'm gonna start it again, at leat thats what I tell myself...

- Continuing with the frogging, I knitted a pair of socks, said socks were assaulted by what I believe were goblins rapists, and I frogged and reused the yarn... I made a Clapoktus 

- I had the opportunity to test knit one of Denise's (from Voie de Vie) accesories collection patterns, the Piaf Scarf... 

-Also, I gave up to peer pressure and crafted baby clothes for the first time... I might  do it again :p

-Around  November (or something like that), Blogger pulled a total dick move and put  a 1GB limit to their picassa photo storage, read here.... Also, read here for a few options to get around the blogger photo limit

-The mayans were bluffing, the world didn't explode... 
   note: this is a joke, the mayans never predicted the end of the world, just the end of an era

- And finally, I end the year with MOAR WIPS that when it started... A problem that I hope to fix during this first month...

two bags, a sock, and two scarves (well, technically a scarf and a stole)

Next time (which could be tomorrow or next october, who knows), New year knitting resolutions!

viernes, 3 de agosto de 2012

This is probably what Hell looks like a.k.a The story of a sock

This was supossed to be a post about love, a post about the kind nature of knitters around the world, it was supossed to be a story about socks, and about everything a sock could stand for... But not anymore, or at least not the way I had it pictured, now, it'll be a story about one of the most horrible things that can happen to a knitter, about angst and despair, about redemption and new beginings, this will be a story about frogging...

Many, many months ago, I took part in a mistery sock KAL hosted by the lovely Jen  a.k.a Knitting Like Crazy, in order to participate for really pretty prices (a skein of sock yarn) you had to finish at least one sock and show a pic, 

then names would be selected by a random thingy generator... The Fates saw fit that mine was one of the names randomly selected, I couldn't believe my luck, addresses were sent, and so a pretty skein of sock yarn took a plane to my country and to my hands... However, not everything was beautiful and perfect, the Fates proved to be a bunch of sadistics sociopaths that enjoyed making me suffer. The package took its time while coming to me, aparently because the postman designated to my area was sick and it was OH SO DIFICULT to find someone else to do the job ¬¬, but when it did, a gray and rainy november day, it was like a christmas eve, that was also your birthday, and you where eating bacon and cake, AND then you had an orgasm, yeah, it was THAT good...

This was the yarn I got

STR light weight (I think) in a colorway called "Knitters without Borders", in honor to Mrs. Harlot's organization. 
I was ecstatic, skeins were hugged and sniffed, swatches were knitted

 and patterns downloaded... At the end I decided to do a plain vanilla sock with How to Knit Socks: A FREE pattern and eBook - By Heather Ordover , because I didn't wanted nothing that messed with the colors... The yarn flew through my needles,

 and the socks were done in what felt like an instant -although, Ravelry says that it took me almost a month-...
Once the socks were done, I wore them around three of four times, 

always handwashing them... Until that time, when I forgot to, and my dad put them in the washing machine.This is were the horror -oh the horror- begins...

STR is a superwash merino yarn, so its technically washing machine friendly, even though that its recomended to handwash it... But taking into account what happened leads me to formulate the following hypotheses:

  •  There is a goblin living in my washing machine
  •  There is a goblin living in my laundry basquet
  •  A pervert sneaked into my house and did horrible, horrible things to my socks
  •  All of the above, plus a black hole of doom, an old lady with saggy boobs, and molested goblins...

Because what I found when the socks came out the the washer wasn't normal, wasn't natural, it went against every possible natural law, it spat into mother nature's face... This is what I found

Yes dear readers, a hole, an awfull, duckfucking hole in my heel flap... It was like if the yarn had just melted away.Tears were shed, angry fists were shaken into the sky, but the dreaded hole remained... After probably a week  of waiting that the socks fixed themselves,

Are they fixed??

 I decided to take actions, my first idea was to darn the hole, but a closer look at the hole showed that the damage was just too much for darning, I would have to darn the whole heel flap, my mom kept saying "throw them away, they already went past their useful lifetime". At the end I came to the conclusion that it'd be better to frog the whole thing and probably start over...

Thats a great idea!

Now, let me tell you, frogging something that has been knitted for at least 4 months, and washed a few times its NOT an easy task, the yarn was slightly felted in some points, but I kept at it... While I pulled the yarn away, and the stitches unraveled, strange thought flew through my head, in no particular order:

  • This is taking forever, I need to pee
  • I spent probably two weeks working on this... what a pity...
  • I feel so sad
  • I really need to pee

  • I hate you washer goblins
  • I need to un-kink this thing
  • Will it bleed when I wash it?
  • Will I have the courage to reknit this?
  • Maybe the yarn didn't wanted to be socks? 
  • This reminds me of those monks that spent months doing paintings with colored sand, and the sweep it all away..I feel so zen...
  • So, what now? a shawlette?
  • It'll probably look cool as a citron
  • Or maybe some monkeys?
  • Fuck it, I'm gonna pee

Even though it pained me to no end to frog the socks, I felt strangely free, lighter, better, once I was done... After all, life goes on, its just yarn, you love it, knit it, frog it and knit it again...
Its just yarn...

 and the possibilities are endless right?

Breaking out a.k.a Fuck you Jiminy Cricket!

So... Its been a while huh? I don't really have much of an explanation for my absence in the blogosphere... Except that the fucking brain-melting parasite is back... No, I haven't lost my mind (I think), but everytime I'm meaning to do anything, from saying hello to someone on Facebook, to replying to an email or even getting up from bed, I get this awful and nasty voice in my head, saying awful stuff like "whats the point?", "who cares about what you have to say? you're not gonna make any difference", "you're stupid, go die plzkthnks"... 

And so far the fucking brain melting parasite has been succesfull... I've stopped talking to people to the point we're my poor social skills, have become even more awkard, if thats even posible... I wouldn't say I'm depressed, depression is a fucking serious  thing, but I haven't felt "good" in a while... And I've had enough of it... I don't like feeling out of place everywhere and everytime, and I've had enough of that little voice telling me off each time I feel like doing anything...
I'm gonna put my shit in order, and I swear on my Madeline Tosh Sock skein that I'm gonna be a productive human being again, no more lurking on the net, no more ignoring my friends, and no more postponing stuff...

I have a few things planned for this blog (which by the way, its gonna be a year old in a few weeks), including (possibly) a pattern... 

domingo, 29 de abril de 2012

Knitting and Crochet Blog Week - Day 7 3KCBWDAY7 "Balanced Crafting?"

Hullo! I'm back... Shit rained on me (not litterally, thank god) during this week, its a shame I couldn't participate in all the days :/
But fuck it, lets not focus on the negative and lets talk about this day's topic: 

Crafting Balance Are you a knitter or a crocheter, or are you a bit of both? If you are monogamous in your yarn-based crafting, is it because you do not enjoy the other craft or have you simply never given yourself the push to learn it? Is it because the items that you best enjoy crafting are more suited to the needles or the hook? Do you plan on ever trying to take up and fully learn the other craft? If you are equally comfortable knitting as you are crocheting, how do you balance both crafts? Do you always have projects of each on the go, or do you go through periods of favouring one over the other? How did you come to learn and love your craft(s)?

I can both knit and crochet, and I tend to have at least one project of each going on. However I find really hard to "read" my crochet or, the yarn gods help me, follow a crochet pattern. A peek at my projects will probably tell you that I seem to have a little problem when it comes to using equally both crafts...
For me crochet its only for doing toys and for doing small lace pieces, like doilies, even though I've seen all those beautiful crocheted garments, I can't seem to wrap my head in the idea that you can actually make clothes with a hook. In the other hand I tend to use knitting for making all the other stuff that aren't toys or  doilies...

Want Evidence?

Exhibit A- Crocheted doilies

Exhibit B - Amigurumi = crocheted  toys

Ignore his lack of eyes, I'm a very lazy person...

I should rename him to Pascal xD

Crocheted clothes/gloves/hats/dead raccoons:

Now, what If we look into my knitted projects?

a cardi

A few pairs of socks

shitloads of scarves

With a cameo apeareance of Momo the cat...


Well dear readers ( you guys exist right?) This marks the end of my first KniCroBlo, it was fun,and I would've liked to participate more, next year I'll try not to be a slacker and get things done before hand... Now I need to start catching up with all the blogs that participated....
If you want to read more posts about balanced crafting (or the lack of it) click the first pic  of the post...